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Film review: TWO LITTLE BOYS, from Built For Speed

Hamish Blake’s stock in trade is the quirky juvenile bromance. This is tolerable in small doses on TV but for the length of a feature film this style of alleged comedy becomes a chore for the audience, even with a decent story.  When the script is as horrible as the one in Two Little Boys, however, it’s a gruelling experience.

In this film Blake and Flight of the Conchords’ Brett Mackenzie play two imbeciles, Deano and Nige, living in Invercargill in New Zealand who have been best mates since childhood.  Their friendship has turned ugly though as Nige has recently become buddies with the large and cheerful Gavin (Maaka Pohatu). When Nige accidentally kills a backpacker with his car he bizarrely turns to Deano for help.  Unfortunately for Nige the latently psychotic Deano may be a bigger danger than the looming manslaughter rap.

Watching this film is like entering an alternate universe where humour doesn’t exist.  In fact, the surgical precision with which this film avoids anything remotely funny is something of a cinematic marvel.

While it would be unrealistic to expect Blake to carry an entire comedy we would expect something amusing from him and in this film he offers nothing.  He may be trying to branch out by playing a darker more violent character but this isn’t a convincing dramatic performance, it’s just Hamish the goofball acting violent.  McKenzie’s character is just a bumbling fool whereas he should have been a much more sympathetic figure.  Fortunately, Maaka Pohatu gives the film a few vaguely enjoyable moments as the amiable and philosophical Gavin.

Not only does this film have no laughs it also has zero energy or momentum, it just ambles along in a tired and predictable fashion.  As we care nothing for the two main characters there’s no sense of threat from the encroaching police investigation.

Seemingly aware that audiences will be lapsing into a coma, the film tries to shock them awake by cranking up the soundtrack to skull crunching volume.  Being set in New Zealand the soundtrack of course features enormous dollops of Dave Dobbin’s Slice of Heaven and The Swingers’ Counting the Beat.

Almost entirely devoid of any interest this film’s only compensations are some stunning vistas of the New Zealand landscape.

Somebody fetch the cranberry source, the turkey has landed.

 

Nick’s rating: One star.

Classification: MA 15+

Director(s): Robert Sarkies

Release date: 15th Nov 2012

Running time:  101 mins

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