Two Natural Ladies Podcast – Show 74 – being an influencer… of great relationships with our friends, colleagues, kids and dogs
Show 74 – all about building great relationships – as parents with our children – and with our friends – and with the usual random conversations thrown in as well –
‘What we do for ourselves ends with us
What we do for others remains – lives on and we can change at least some part of the world’
Two Natural Ladies start with a community announcement supporting Mentone Library – an independent community run library.
Jo & Vicki then have a lively discussion, with lots of laughter, around some of the concepts in Dale Carnegie’s book: ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’
- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Two Natural Ladies generally agree with Dale and question a few of his edicts –
Become genuinely interested in other people. ?
Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. ?
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. ?
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.??? Not sure about this? Sometimes we need to have ‘the fight’ otherwise we are withholding what we really feel as we are too afraid to have the argument.
Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
Having an intention, a goal and let it be, can sometimes help with handling sticky situations.
Put the suggestion ‘out there’ and then wait for the other person to think of it – great to use with kids and partners!
Jo discusses what she learnt in the Landmark forum about getting everything handle/perfect. It’s a fallacy and not possible. Kids teach us this too
AS Two Natural Ladies so often quote ‘Do better not perfect!’ which leads to questioning multi-tasking – is it possible?
“Whatever you are be a good one” Abraham Lincoln
Is the Dog OK? And who is the Dog whisperer? This has little to do with dogs and lots to do with handling people ?
Two Natural Ladies discuss appreciating others. Beginning a conversation with true appreciation for the other person whether this is in person or on an email. Particularly when there is a complaint or problem to handle
Dig for the gold, praise the other person and help the other person support to create a great reputation.
Hilarity ensues when Vicki explains to Jo a ‘Compliment Sandwich’ using a dog as an example ??. Is the Dog OK?
“Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment. …. Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” Dale Carnegie
It can be hard not to criticise and be authentic Be kind and caring
A change in direction with Vicki’s games night with the kids
“A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.” Thomas Carlyle
There is a lot of meat in this podcast and that’s not including the dog! Have fun
This segment is 33:27 – 45:20 with song in the middle 36:02 –song-39:14
Heart felt living – brings great reward
Two Natural Ladies discuss a day in the life – of them. A chain of events with different people all dealing with the heart centre. Their coaching with Geoff Kelly and some time with Georgie Faith –feminine and masculine energy and going with our ‘gut’ more.
The Synergy of Life
Vicki & Jo talk about the ocean and one person’s view of the water being a feminine energy and the sea bed being the masculine. The water is forever changing and the sea bed is more permanent. The sea bed doesn’t get angry with the water for changing – it is as it is!
Jo explains that this is the Year of the Ox – her year! It is a feminine energy of endurance. Learning new ways to deal with things
You just never know where the conversations will go and you will always be entertained with thought provoking discussion
Getting stoned with fruit
There are five common stone fruits and Jo & Vicki discuss what they are and their benefits.
Who likes what and why? Some education and information ensues and comments from Two Natural Ladies Groupies. Jam is certainly on the menu!
53:05 – 1:19:52
Getting people to do what we want them to do? Really?
Two Natural Ladies have an entertaining and informative discussion with Cheryl Barr -communications expert.
Jo, Vicki & Cheryl talk about the challenges of being a parent, fixing them instead of looking at how we are communicating. The good news is when we take responsibility we have the control to change things. The bad news is WE are responsible! And learning more about ourselves can only be of use in our communication with everyone. ?
“If you use control you lose influence” Cheryl Barr
Cheryl gives us all some practical tips on how to resolve conflict situations. Give ‘I’ messages, listen to and hear what the other person is saying and then brainstorm solutions.
Distinguish who owns the problem – kids don’t often have a problem with their rooms- but we do and then try and bulldoze a “solution”
Two Natural Ladies ask Cheryl to share a stand out story: It’s a beauty!
A senior surgeon, during a role play, discovers he has never listened to a patient. He is transformed! He becomes the CEO of a major hospital and starts teaching communication in a major hospital AMAZING!
The trick to all of this is practice and allow yourself to ‘be’ with the person and get what they are saying.
“From the Moment I could talk I was ordered to listen…” Cat Stevens
P.E.T, was the first parenting training course in Australia, created over 45 years ago. Created to assist parents in resolving conflicts so everyone wins – less tantrums and fights.
Compassion for everyone. Two Natural Ladies discuss values collision -clean or messy house-seems like opposites but their reason was the same – to spend time with their kids.
Using communication, I messages and active listening we can resolve our conflicts without diminishing our relationship.
Two Natural Ladies edict: Doing better not perfect!
How to avoid being fired as a parent
Two Natural Ladies talk about the book P.E.T (Parent Effectiveness Training) and the support this gives to parent’s when their kids go through puberty. At this stage in their lives parents need to be communicating with their teenagers, listening to what they are saying and work with them, so they don’t leave their parents and physically and/or psychologically
How we see teenagers when they rebel and put things in their nose and shave their head (but not all of it)
“The secret of change is to focus all our energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new” Socrates
This leads to Vicki & Jo talking about one of their favourite authors, Deborah Pascoe, and her suggestion for us all to start writing. Writing slows us down and helps us think clearer. It also cements what we have learned
Hats, chocolate, love and laughter are all part of this fun podcast
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- Two Natural Ladies Show 69 Podcast – the conversation and banter contiues…
- Two Natural Ladies podcast 88 – Tree Hugging, Puppy Loving, Standing Together – That’s When We All Win!
- Two Natural Ladies Podcast 90 – Uplifting ourselves and others !